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Clown  •   Disguised  •   Tongue and grimace  •   Mocking

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NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU'RE A NERD

-  I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too !

-  I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.

-  When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "lol... lol !"

-  I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.

-  I will try to figure out why I "really" need 9 e-mail addresses.

-  I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate.

-  I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.

-  I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.

-  I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer e-mail.

-  When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.

-  I will stop using, "So, what's your URL !" as a pickup line.

-  No more downloads from alt.binaries.*

-  I resolve to back up my new 400 GB hard drive daily... Well, once a week... monthly, perhaps...

-  I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet.

-  I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.

-  I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.

 
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